Empathy

What is Empathy?
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes or when you’re able to understand and feel another’s feelings.   Such as when a student is feeling sad because they are having a difficult day and  someone else feels what they are going through.  They may gently ask them if they are ok or if they’d like to talk about what is troubling them.  Thus, putting themselves in their shoes.   Sometimes people will think that empathy and sympathy are the same.   You have compassion for that person but may not necessarily feel their feelings or be empathic toward them.
Empathy is developed as children grow and are shown empathy by their parents and later from other people around, such as their babysitter, their grandparents, their brothers and sisters and their teachers.
A parent may help their children develop empathy by doing the following:

• Actively listening to your child’s verbal expression as well as their nonverbal expression.
• A child that is very expressive and verbal will let you know without a doubt what they are sad about. They will let you know their needs, let you comfort them. Then after you have acknowledged and talked about their feelings and the cause, then you can offer to problem solve and find a solution.
  
• A child that is not forthright with their feelings will demonstrate that they are troubled with nonverbal signals; such as slumped shoulders, sad looks, sad eyes or an angry, frustrating expressions or aggressive behaviors. Screaming, yelling, hitting or slapping would be a sign of anger. You may use active listening statements of You feel________ .or You feel__________because. If you are mistaken, they will usually tell you what is bothering them. The parent needs to understand and acknowledge their own feelings to help their child understand theirs.
  
• If you show empathy toward your child, this is role modeling which is a very powerful learning tool. They will learn from your example and will in turn use this skill on a friend or even back to you. This allows them to become more sensitive to others.
  
• Benefits of being empathic—Helping someone to become aware of what they feel can lead to relief and a decrease in anxiety and stress.  It can also decrease bullying, if the person who is in the position to bully another person has learned empathy, then perhaps, they will think  twice before they hurt another person mentally, physically or emotionally. 

If you would like to talk to the School Psychologist or School Counselor about empathy, please call (612-7000) or come see us. 
Ann Richards, School Psychologist
Valerie Elwood, School Counselor